Callous (Part 9)
Hermit.
Note - This is the continuation of a vanity project. A novel written in parts, with minimal editing or fuss. If I like the end result I may gather up all the parts and rewrite them into something better. This is a learning process.
* The process is working well, I’m slowly getting a better grip on how to write narratively. This whole story is likely to be rewritten as a simpler horror-like narrative, though we’ll see how it goes. I like the idea of playing it loose through this whole first draft. Some terrible sections will need to be entirely rewritten (including the first 3-4 chapters almost entirely) but as the plot comes together that process will be more rewarding than costly.
You can find parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 here.
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Better to be caught in sudden, complete catastrophe than to be gnawed by the cancer of imagination.
Yukio Mishima
Jon woke pleased and looking forward to breakfast before the reality of his situation hit him again like a brick to the face. He looked around the cabin, seeing the dark reddish brown splotch where Fred had lay. He’d scrubbed it for an hour or two the night before, but it appeared permanent. He’d woken twice through the night to more scratching on that damn hatch again. It seemed to be increasingly insistent, though he wasn’t sure if this was true or if he was still in a sort of dazed shock. He force-fed himself then went to work.
He hung around with the goats for hours, attempting to gain some sort of companionship from them and surprising himself by succeeding to a small degree. There was a sort of comfort there. It was something. The weather was hot, dry, with not a single cloud in sight. Jon was not really sure of what to do with the excess milk, so began experimenting with small parts of it, sure he’d heard somewhere that cheese came from it. He filled a few mugs and cups with milk and left them in various spots around the cabin. He decided he’d investigate them daily and see what happened.
Jon decided to shift the goats so that they were in the field right next to the cabin. Their frequent noises brought a sort of ‘homey’ comfort that made him feel less alone. Jonathan continued to read the Nietzsche book Fred gave him, finding himself reading and re-reading every single line. There was such poetry and majesty to the words. He knew he’d never maybe understand most of it, but there was something there that filled him with an indefinable feeling of strength.
Jon reflected on the water and food situation, wondering what he’d do when they ran low. As before he put this off, choosing to ignore everything beyond the present.
Jon had been avoiding it all day, and finally accepted he’d have to face the cow. He went to battle the daily chore of milking.. Despite the kicks and obvious annoyance of the beast it didn’t actually seem so difficult this time, but he still ended up spilling half the milk. She seemed very unhappy to be dealing with him. “Oh Lucy, you miss Fred don’t you? If you just relax it’ll be fine” he pleaded with her as she stared at him blankly with her big sad eyes. Jon felt a real pang of annoyance as he looked into those large doughy pools, wondering how she could look so relaxed after giving him such a hard time. “Bloody animal” Jon muttered, as he sat back in the shade of a shrub nearby with a bucket of milk.
As soon as he sat down the thoughts assailed him. What would he do? What were these creatures? How will he survive? He began to imagine all sorts of horrific scenarios and possibilities. He pulled out Fred’s journal, looking for the fifteenth time for more information on these creatures or these hatches. Nothing. “NOTHING!” he growled, exasperated. He threw the journal down into the dirt in disgust and as he did so a page flew out and fluttered a few meters away from him. Picking it up he noticed it was a small lined and folded piece of paper. Very thin, translucent, and different to the rest of the journal. Jon opened it up and had a look:
My dearest Son Frederick.
It is with great sadness that I bequeath this burden to you, and I wish I could justify the horrors you’re going to have to endure. I am sure if you’re reading this you understand the depth of the burden placed upon you. The truth of the matter is that these creatures are our family, they have been for generations. I am not sure where they came from, but I know it’s our duty to look after them.
I’m sure you’re asking yourself: Why do we not just let them die?
I tried my son, I tried. You do not want to see what can happen. You’ll think you can simply run away and abandon them… they will not let you…. THEY WON’T ALLOW IT! The things I’ve seen, the vistas I’ve witnessed, the horrors I’ve had to endure!
If you have this note it means I’m dead…. and please my son, listen to my warning.
DO NOT EVER LET THEM OUT, DO NOT EVER LET THEM GET TOO HUNGRY.
I’ve left you my notes on how to care for them, make sure you follow all the instructions to the letter my boy.
I am so sorry, but it seems the Gerstard family must carry this on. I am very proud of you son, and I know you’ll make it through the horrors that are coming. You were raised to understand how to overcome.
I will always love you son. I’ll always be with you.
God bless.
Curtis Gerstard.
Jon was stunned by this, pondering what this meant. He went back to Fred’s journal and noticed this time plenty of little references to ‘the family’ that he hadn’t picked up before. Stories about near misses and fearful interactions were frequent. It seemed Fred took over the care of these creatures at a very young age. The way they were settled here in this land by his Father Curtis was seemingly a story all of its own.
It seemed the ‘family’ had to be fed every 2-3 days. Jonathan had once let them go for over a week, documenting their ravenous cries and hunger over each day. Interestingly the journal stopped for weeks after this date, then resumed with him feeding them every 2 days like clockwork from then onwards. Jon couldn’t help but ponder what might have happened.
Jonathan realized that Fred had probably been planning to raise Jonathan to care for these same creatures himself, that the ‘curse’ was going to be passed on to him. Jon’s image of Fred changed drastically through this realization. Though he understood Fred probably felt he had no other choice, and though Fred didn’t even share any of this with him, Jonathan couldn’t help but feel tricked. He spent an hour or two chatting to the goats about his feelings, and somehow felt great that they couldn’t understand him.
Jonathan spent the rest of the day fretting about what to do, and couldn’t really sleep that night, tossing and turning until the growing light of the sun stopped him even bothering. The scratching and howling has come, this time the loudest Jonathan had heard it. Growls practically vibrating the floorboards, the pounds felt even through the bed. Jonathan resolved to deal with this the only way he could imagine he must….
Feeding. He would have to feed ‘the family’.
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Extra Notes - Originally this was going to be a sci-fi adventure of sorts. It is rapidly evolving into a horror story with adventure/sci-fi elements, and will be better for it. The rewrite may reshape the first 3-4 chapters into something much simpler and shorter. I will finish the narrative and then see where it goes. In future plotlines will be more planned out, but this project was intended from the beginning to teach me how to put a story together.